Teenage angst I hear your cry. You tempted me with your fresh knowledge untested by life’s setbacks. I knew better but I was miserable. I walked away from a parent’s love so as not to disappoint them further.
Roll the years forward a generation…
Now I hear of you my darling niece. I feel your anger as if it were a forgotten love song. In a world where hormones explode like balloons freshly stomped by teenage partygoers you storm off. Do you know how much you are loved my darling?
I think of you while you're away
and as night dances on the day
and failing light segments are strewn
as orange beams that chase the moon
I think of you as silhouettes
can etch the land as day forgets
and blue, then red, once more regress
and night presents its sweet caress
DEE GRANT 2021
This is a rewrite of the poem I wrote earlier called Night Presents it’s Sweet Caress. I’ve been reading a couple of articles to improve my rhyming style.
E.L Literature (2021)“Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening” by Robert Frost — EL.Literature – Form, Meter, Rhyme in ‘Formal’ Poetry
Masterclass (2020) https://www.masterclass.com/articles/poetry-101-what-is-a-rhyme-scheme-learn-about-rhymed-poems-with-examples
Today I wanted to be here ‘in case the sh*t hits the fan’. Mum had a fall today and was taken away in an ambulance. She should be in a nursing home they’ll say. Well ‘don’t come the raw prawn with me’ cause we all know she just ‘won’t cop that’!
That old chestnut
People hint to mum that she should think about going to a nursing home. I’m sure ‘that old chestnut’ will be ‘back on the cards again’. I know she ‘wouldn’t have a bar of it’. Thing is oldies sometimes have no say in it. That really ‘makes mum’s blood boil’. See mum is such a private person. She loves her garden and her own space. The whole idea of being in hospital just ‘does her head in’ let alone a nursing home. She’d be ‘out of there in a flash’ if she could.
Stick to your guns
I was hanging by the computer ‘playing the waiting game’. My ‘heart was in my mouth’ when a call ‘came out of nowhere’. It was a real ‘blessing in disguise’. A stranger calls. She shares of how her nan broke her hip in her 90’s and was sent home after she recovered from a hip replacement. Her nan was ‘happy as Larry’. This stranger says “make sure you tell your mum to ‘stick to her guns'”.
It’s been a while since I wrote a piece on phrases and idioms. I hope these ones help you in understanding this uncertain space. A space where the very thing that draws family together can also pull them apart. We all want what’s best for mum but we all have different opinions.
- Be here in case the sh*t hits the fan – be close by in case something bad happens
- Playing the waiting game – Not sure what to do so watch and wait
- Heart in your mouth – Anxious
- Came out of nowhere – Unexpected
- Blessing in disguise – Something unexpected or unfortunate that results in something good happening
- Does your head in – Makes you angry or frustrated
- Out of there in a flash – Leave in a hurry
- That old chestnut – Repeating the same old story so it becomes boring
- Back on the cards – Discuss something that had been spoken of previously
- Wouldn’t have a bar of it – (Australian saying) Won’t tolerate or put up with it
- Make your blood boil – Make you very angry
- Don’t come the raw prawn with me – (Australian saying) Don’t pretend you don’t know
- Won’t cop that – Won’t take that. Not happy about that
- Happy as Larry – (Australian saying) Very happy
- Stick to your guns – Don’t give in
I can’t sleep but if I was I’d dream a dream, a dream of you. Your quirky ways, your teasing laughter, wrapped up in gorgeous ever after.
You are my sweet, my one and only. Forever yours, your one and only.
Life is precious and unexpected tragedy quashes thoughts of joy.
It reaffirms that you need to put blissful times in your life. Don’t avoid doing your will. You just don’t know when your time is up. That is this man’s legacy.
He went to the garage and to get something off the shelf.
“He’s been out there a while” you think to yourself. “I’ll just see what he’s up to”
‘Famous last words’. If you had known what was ahead would you have walked through that garage door so nonchalantly?
He was there on the garage floor.
He died suddenly, not fading away in some manky nursing home. You know those homes. They smell of pee and people walk around with dolls that they think are babies.
There is no note. There is no misadventure. There is just the memory of you nagging him to stop relying on that shelf to reach further up from the step ladder. “It’s dangerous”, you said.
It’s colour, it’s form, it’s shade and technique. It’s the artist personified, original, unique!
We’re all just creative and passionately draw. We’ll draw on your woodwork, your wall or your door. Just give the OK and we’ll be there today, drawing pictures and paintings ’til the day gets away.
Did you want a commission? We can help you with that. We’ll pull out our paints and put on our hat. With berets in place we’ll draw up the plan. We’ll sort out the colours cause you know that we can.
At the end we’ll stand back with arms folded and beam. It’s no longer blank space…it’s an artists dream.
DEE GRANT 2021
I came across this little poem recently that I wrote in my early 20’s. Can’t believe how down I was about the world back then nor how lost I felt. Thanks Dad for giving me the wiggle room to see the world through a different lens.
My life was but a battlefield a war within my soul, of building mighty fortresses against a cold world. A tough and hard exterior, a hardened view of life, of living up to others’ opinions for my life.
But deep inside a child peered out amidst the mire. A gentle spirit, a gentle heart, the real me sat and cried. For loneliness and heartache had crushed this tender heart and all that was left within was but a little spark.
And I thank my loving father for fanning that spark to flame for showing me how to be myself and not have to be ashamed of who I am, or what I do, or how I see the world.
Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com
I’m paralyzed with indecision. It affects my every move. I can’t make that decision, just can’t get in the groove.
It’s worse when it affects the ones I love. I just have to be so sure, that I’ve researched every angle, researched it to the core.
I want clarity of reason so if it falls apart, I know I’ve done the best I can for those close to my heart.
BY DEE GRANT 2020
Do you consider yourself a procrastinator? Maybe your really an analyzer like me. You like facts so you can make an informed decision. I did a course on behavioural flexibility years ago. The course highlighted the basic ways people relate in their world. It made me appreciate that for some people they need to research before they make a decision.
Nan’s bones were so brittle, hard surfaces were her enemy. She moves with her walker with absolutely no symmetry. Nan reasons it’s safer to be home alone. It’s safe and secure her castle, her throne.
Family and friends would visit and fear, that this sweet loving grandma that they all held so dear, was wasting away in her homely cocoon. She needs to get out and we think…soon.
(Read fast) Let’s go to the park. Let’s set up a table. Let’s get grandma organised she’s still with it, still able. She’ll get to see kids run round and play. Let’s get her out, yes lets sort it today.
Nan watches in terror as the kids zip around. She fears for her footing which just isn’t that sound. But Nan bless her soul won’t show her fear. She smiles, is pleasant, as family is dear.
BY DEE GRANT 2020
We all have different lenses of how we see the world. It’s the same with family. Seniors share of their concerns with me of being out and about and how scary it can be for them sometimes. Noone would ever know.They are amazing. Such true grit.
Feature image photo by Edu Carvalho at Pexels – Woman Standing Near Yellow Petalled Flower https://www.pexels.com/@educarvalho
My husband is stuck with me here in my pain, for better or worse must drive him insane
Today another day I wish I was away, away from the pain of my everyday. Though I live in a place that people would love, all I feel is pain and I pray to above. I pray to above for a bit of reprieve, cause I’m locked in this body with no way to leave.
It’s autoimmune they’ll remind me. Yes it sucks when at night your muscles twitch and weave. Yes we know you’re in pain, what meds can we give, what stretches, what counselling, to make life worth the live? But I know through experience from years on this road, there’s no silver lining just carry the load.
BY DEE GRANT