Bloganuary 26 – Laughter is the Best Medicine

My quirky sense of humour. It never ceases to amaze me. It’s not everyones cup of tea. I love observational comedy.

I went to a comedy night for new comedians a while back. There was the usual guff with swearing or sexual innuendo. Not interesting.

Then one that stood out. She had me rolling round the floor laughing. “Oh my goodness”, I think to myself. “How refreshing. She is so on the same page”.

She’s speaking descriptively, and practically, about having trouble getting in and out of a toilet cubicle. So innocent and so descriptive. I could see the whole scenario playing out in my minds eye. Tears were flowing down my face. I was screaming with laughter so hard I almost wet my pants. 

Photo by ROMAN ODINTSOV on Pexels.com

Girls, we have all been there. It celebrates a personal appreciation of all those times you lined up. Lining up for the ladies toilets when your’e busting to go. Or when you were pregnant and that beautiful belly presses right on your bladder…gotta go gotta go.

Day 26 – Favourite part about yourself

#true story – Old age and treachery

She was struck by a saying her boss used ‘time and again’ to tease her when she was a ‘young whippersnapper’ and still ‘wet behind the ears’.

She sat waiting for time to pass her by. Sure enough if she looked hard enough, and waited long enough, she could see each hair turning grey. She felt like ‘such an old fart’ as she scrolled through photos of the past. She reminisced through slowly wrinkling skin to the youthfulness and adventure of yesteryear. “Ah those were the days”, she thought to herself. She breathed a despondent sigh.

That sigh was short lived. She’d had an epiphany! She was struck by a saying her boss used ‘time and again’ to tease her when she was a ‘young whippersnapper’ and still ‘wet behind the ears’. He used to say “Old age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill”. Finally she got what he meant.

So bring on the grey hairs. Get those wrinkles pumping. She had found a new meaning and purpose. “I’m not dead yet! Granny is here. So watch out youngsters, old age and treachery here I come”.

Photo by RODNAE Productions on Pexels.com

Phrase/Saying

  • Old fart – (UK, 1940’s) someone boring and old fashioned (MacMillan Dictionary).
  • Time and again – (USA) Repeatedly
  • Young whippersnapper – (UK, 1700’s) Young person that is overly confident. Hails from the days when people cracked whips
  • Wet behind the ears – (USA 1900’s) Only recently started a new…job, career etc so inexperienced
  • Old age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill – (USA 1900s) David Mamet quote. Actual quote is slightly different but it means the same thing.

#Narrative – Don’t come the raw prawn with me

Today I wanted to be here ‘in case the sh*t hits the fan’. Mum had a fall today and was taken away in an ambulance. She should be in a nursing home they’ll say. Well ‘don’t come the raw prawn with me’ cause we all know she just ‘won’t cop that’!

That old chestnut

People hint to mum that she should think about going to a nursing home. I’m sure ‘that old chestnut’ will be ‘back on the cards again’. I know she ‘wouldn’t have a bar of it’. Thing is oldies sometimes have no say in it. That really ‘makes mum’s blood boil’. See mum is such a private person. She loves her garden and her own space. The whole idea of being in hospital just ‘does her head in’ let alone a nursing home. She’d be ‘out of there in a flash’ if she could.

Stick to your guns

I was hanging by the computer ‘playing the waiting game’. My ‘heart was in my mouth’ when a call ‘came out of nowhere’. It was a real ‘blessing in disguise’. A stranger calls. She shares of how her nan broke her hip in her 90’s and was sent home after she recovered from a hip replacement. Her nan was ‘happy as Larry’. This stranger says “make sure you tell your mum to ‘stick to her guns'”.

It’s been a while since I wrote a piece on phrases and idioms. I hope these ones help you in understanding this uncertain space. A space where the very thing that draws family together can also pull them apart. We all want what’s best for mum but we all have different opinions.

Phrase/Saying

  • Be here in case the sh*t hits the fan – be close by in case something bad happens
  • Playing the waiting game – Not sure what to do so watch and wait
  • Heart in your mouth – Anxious
  • Came out of nowhere – Unexpected
  • Blessing in disguise – Something unexpected or unfortunate that results in something good happening
  • Does your head in – Makes you angry or frustrated
  • Out of there in a flash – Leave in a hurry
  • That old chestnut – Repeating the same old story so it becomes boring
  • Back on the cards – Discuss something that had been spoken of previously
  • Wouldn’t have a bar of it – (Australian saying) Won’t tolerate or put up with it
  • Make your blood boil – Make you very angry
  • Don’t come the raw prawn with me – (Australian saying) Don’t pretend you don’t know
  • Won’t cop that – Won’t take that. Not happy about that
  • Happy as Larry – (Australian saying) Very happy
  • Stick to your guns – Don’t give in

#Prose – Eyes pulse through a kaleidoscope

I can hear you. In the waves of my space I hear your heartbeat. Eyes pulse through a kaleidoscope of reverberating paisley designs. The notes edge outward beyond my line of sight. I watch as the show begins. A shimmering spectacle as central vision disappears…if only for a moment. Then time, unfettered by containment lines, sends searing pain.  Hello again unwelcome stranger.

Dezzie 2021

In this short piece I have tried to capture an eye migraine. ‘Unfettered by containment lines’ means that I didn’t take anything to resolve it. As many would know that suffer from eye migraines, if you treat it as soon as the signs appear you can sometimes avoid it turning into a migraine.

For me these make you cry with pain. Even the sound of water dripping on tiles makes your head scream. Showers become painful necessities. Light to your eyes is pure agony so no TV and no screen time. Have I done it justice?

Photo by lilartsy from Pexels

#Poetry – Elevate from noisy spheres

It is in silence I create, I can decipher, I can relate
Random gems of unknown purity, bubble up from deep obscurity
Bubbling up clear unfettered, not encased in tunes so lettered

I know the silence that you seek, a place to ponder a place to speak
Not with words that close your mind, but open pathways all entwined
For in this place you can create, you can reflect, you can debate

And when all thoughts have quietened down, and questions lose their tensioned frown
You elevate from noisy spheres, and find that space set free from fear
A masterpiece is what you paint, random sketches of a saint.

DEE GRANT 2021

Photo by Simon Migaj on Pexels

As the tide of information dissipates thumbnail sketches appear like cocktails at a resort

After many years of university study, words become scrawl. Scrawl becomes a treasure trove of inspiration. Text turns into it’s own motif. The greater the need to focus the more text becomes a rhythm. A rhythmic sea of text that appears and disappears like waves on the beach.

Unexpected words from a speaker cause a flurry of scrawl barely readable. Then, as the tide of information dissipates, thumbnail sketches appear like cocktails at a resort. 

Discerning the message – Dee Grant – 2002

Drawn at a professional development weekend on teaching ethics. Discerning the Message was drawn on a Best Western notepad while listening to a keynote speaker.

BY DEE GRANT

#Poetry – Cold World

I came across this little poem recently that I wrote in my early 20’s. Can’t believe how down I was about the world back then nor how lost I felt. Thanks Dad for giving me the wiggle room to see the world through a different lens.

My life was but a battlefield a war within my soul, of building mighty fortresses against a cold world. A tough and hard exterior, a hardened view of life, of living up to others’ opinions for my life. 

But deep inside a child peered out amidst the mire. A gentle spirit, a gentle heart, the real me sat and cried. For loneliness and heartache had crushed this tender heart and all that was left within was but a little spark.

And I thank my loving father for fanning that spark to flame for showing me how to be myself and not have to be ashamed of who I am, or what I do, or how I see the world.

Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com

Ep 2: #Job Hunt – The Blow-In

…what employer would hire some ‘blow-in’ from interstate?

(with audio) Previously it was about That Elusive First Job. Now a new adventure! I had some idea that I was going to be some famous artist when I finished studies in fine arts years ago. I really ‘drank the Kool-aid’ on that one. So I moved north interstate to a great tourist town on Queensland’s Gold Coast. I started to look for work. I looked and I looked and I looked. Month after month I pounded that pavement, applied for those jobs, and wrote those targeted cover letters. Nothing!  Plenty of knock backs. I even offered to work for free and still ‘a flat no’… It was really soul destroying.

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